Since Karl died we have had quite a few
"signs" left for us, mostly red birds {his favorite and mine too} and on occasion other silly things that would mean something to us but would have absolutely no meaning to anyone else.
I hear these "signs" {or as I like to call them, gifts} are a pretty common communication tool.
Two books I've recently read are incredible as to where I can very, very much relate to the stories that are, from what I am understanding...true.
One book is called
"Hello From Heaven" and the other is called
"We Are Their Heaven" by Allison DoBois.
My Vinny he doesn't come around to me much in my dreams hardly at all, and that really drives me crazy. But from what Miss Allison describes on her web site,
"If the deceased doesn't contact me ...
does that mean that they don't love me?No, people who are grieving are often blocked by pain and the deceased has to find another way to contact them, through a friend etc. Sometimes it's just a matter of time. As I describe in my book “Don't Kiss Them Good-Bye” when I lost my own dad even being a medium didn't allow me to see him. It took me two years before I could hear him.
Don't force it and be sure to tell the deceased what you need from them not as a challenge but from your heart. It also has to be within their power, like if you requested a “visit” from them in a dream. This is in their power, every night go to sleep and let them know that your heart is open to them and that you'll patiently await their appearance. If you ask them to come back to life then that wouldn't be in their power. So take it at your own pace and you'll find that many prayers are answered."
I did a lot of wondering about this and I did get my answer.
I also got my answer from Karl last week when he was in a very real dream, so real I almost thought it was real but yes, I knew it was a dream.
In that dream he looked gorgeous as always but I mean he looked PERFECT. Everything about him, especially his teeth they were beautiful and his smile was the most incredible thing I have ever seen.
In this dream he came home and was standing {I think} in our living room and he said to me over and over how beautiful my locket necklace is.
I told him, "Oh I know Vin, your in it {his ashes are in there as well as his thumbprint on the front} and your also in the box in my room and your also standing right here in front of me...Ummm, Vinny you got a lot of explaining to do"
I remember his laughing just exactly like he used to when I would inevitably be confused by something that made total sense to him but not me.
He asked me if Kody was going to karate and I said "Yes" and he said "That's great, let's go bring him" and just like that we were in my jeep, the three of us.
That's when he asked me if I wanted to do "something crazy" and I said "Sure" and next thing you know we are driving up the side of a very rocky mountain, which was crazy cuz this is flat Florida, no mountains here.
Then he asked me if I wanted to do something crazier and after yelling at him to stop driving like a crazy person in my non 4 wheel drive jeep, he threw it in reverse and we were going fast all over the place up this mountain, me screaming
"Vinny Are You Crazy" and him laughing and having a blast.
The whole while I was asking him "Please just tell me was that really your voice calling my name two days after you died when I fell asleep at 4:11 AM?", I asked him a bunch of questions, about the birds, the signs the gifts and he kept telling me he couldn't answer those questions right now.
I was really disappointed and told him "Really, come on, it's OK Baby you can tell me I swear on my shoe collection I won't tell anybody you told me" and again he laughed, and his laugh it was so beautiful...like music.
He parked the jeep and Kody got out and I looked at him and said "please just tell me one thing Baby, please tell me...did it hurt to die?"
He looked right at me, smiled, shook his head and said "No".
And just like that, the dream was over.
However, the one question that had been haunting me since the second I found out he was killed was answered, not by police officers or medical personal, as I had always thought they say that to everyone to comfort them. My question was answered by my Angel himself.
Do I now think he suffered even if just for a second?
No, I do not...not any more.
I believe his soul departed his physical body seconds before that crash ever took place.
Now, yes this could have just been a
"wishful thinking" dream, I don't know.
This next story has convinced me even more that our loved ones still find ways to communicate with us.
Two weekends ago, KK {our oldest} decided to spend the weekend here hanging out with her brothers. Saturday night when we all went to bed, KK took Kody's bed and Kody took the couch.
Sunday morning when Kody finally woke up he was acting, well a little different. That's when he said "Mom I got to tell you something...I saw Daddy early this morning, he was here"
I asked him what had happened and he said "Mom, it was NOT a dream, I was awake. Daddy was standing at the end of the couch. He was wearing his camo shorts and his green tank top and he said "Kody it's not necessary for everyone to wonder how much I knew they love me, I know you all love me and I love you all very much too."
He also said "Kody it's time to step up and be a man, you can't be a kid forever it's time for you to start growing up to be a great man".
Just like that, Kody said he was gone. He also said that he saw a brilliant white light behind his Dad, really bright and that Karl didn't move his mouth at all but Kody could hear every single word his was saying loud and clear.
Kody also told me that at first he was a little freaked out, actually I think the word he used was
"trippin'" lol. But that after a second or two he realized that it was OK and he sad it was so peaceful but that it was fast, like only seconds.
Could this have just been a son's "dream" of a Dad that he is still severely grieving for?
Perhaps but I don't think so.
Please come back on Monday, April 11th {Karl's birthday} because what I need to tell you then will change your mind. It has to, it's too unbelievably accurate not to and it was a visit from Karl to a friend of mine. This happened in February and it is still so stunning to me that I haven't been able to bring myself to write about it yet.
Like I promised, I'll save the best for last. :)
As for life here, we are still hurting. This is a very bad month, I can feel it the pain, the depression is starting to rear it's ugly head again. His birthday, Kaysha's birthday, our anniversary, our first major holiday {I know technically it was Christmas but honestly I don't even remember the day, nothing not even getting out of bed}.
We try to keep as busy as we can on the weekends so we don't sit around and "mope".
Spending time at the parks helps plus it forces me to get out there and get to driving places. Remember he was our family driver I rode shot gun always. :)
Here's a few pic's of lately...
BTW...no he's not driving yet, now THAT would be
"wishful thinking" lol.
Have a great day everyone!!
