Friday, January 21, 2011

Almost One Month

One month tomorrow. I already feel sick. Wish I could just stay in bed all day. But, I promised the boys they could try out for basketball in Tavares. Forced to be a Momma, maybe that's a good thing.

Old pics {some really old!} that make me smile...

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He's so beautiful, so perfect, so incredibly handsome...

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And more recent ones that make me cry...

My Vinny, he is in that cherrywood box right next to my bed, it's all I have left.

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The most worst kind of hurt in the world that I have experienced...

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Please pray that I find the willpower and energy to get on here tomorrow.

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18 comments:

leese said...

I can't imagine the dread your feeling just marking that date, and again your boys are pulling you back into "Life". Perfect.
Sending love and hugs from Joisey.
<3
Lisa

Shiela in NY said...

Oh, Kim. :(

I'm sorry the 22nd is going to be so rough for you. We can look at "anniverseries" in so many ways. We could count by day of the week, or the actual date of the month. The one year marks of everything hurt so much and just getting to through that first year is so hard. I am SO glad tomorrow is a Saturday. GLAD you are letting the boys try out.

Loved, Loved, LOVED seeing the pics. I don't ever recall seeing a pic of Karl with his hair down. Having that snake wrapped around his neck makes him look DOUBLY manly in that particular photo!! :)

I got tears in my eyes when I saw the one when the boys reunited with Karl after being on the road in that orange Schneider truck. I know that was a difficult time period for all of you, never having had Daddy away from home like that. Those boys were so happy to see their Dad!! Again, I'll bet you are glad you captured so many of these memories. Never would you have known they'd be so cherished now....

GOOD LUCK tomorrow. I will be thinking of you more than normal.

Oh -- by the way -- from the glimpse I can catch of them, I think those shoes were a PERFECT gift. :) <3 <3 <3

Love & (((((HUGS)))))

Anonymous said...

Kim...It is a good thing, your kids will help you do the things you need to do with them and in turn you will be blessed.Praying for your continued strength.It will be a day of sadness but maybe you can make it a day of honoring their Dad.Do something positive in Karl's name.The snake picture...What a great shot! Thanks for sharing all of them.The last one is heartbreaking.Sending hugs to you all.Sherry

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, Kim. I have no words. I'm so sorry you are feeling such a void. All of the pictures are beautiful. I pray you find strength and peace.....
Liz, NY

Lori from MN said...

Just thinking of you and your family. So sad ... Wishing you all my best. Be strong for the kids - they need you - and you need them. They will keep you going. Don't know what else to say ...

Cheyenne said...

Prayers from Pennsylvania will never stop.
I remember some of those pictures when you first posted them. They are all great.
Keep strong, hang in there, try to think positive.

Lynn said...

Those pictures made me smile too! I can remember so many of those occasions... you have shared so much with us over the years, I think a number of us feel like we are part of the family! We smile and cry too, just seeing the pictures, remembering the man who was completely comfortable in his own skin. That's a rare thing but Karl sure had it. He loved his roles in this life - loved his wife and loved being a daddy and a granddaddy. How many tough guys are so openly affectionate!? Who could not be endeared to this man? He was a precious soul!

Just keep swimmin. :")
Love and hugs
Lynn

Maloy said...

You'll be surprised but I also have my favorite photo of Mr. Krupp... Kruppen... DAMN! How did your children ever got through the primary school!!! So, anyway, I remember his photo from many-many years ago, when he went trucking on that orange Freddy. He wasn't in the photo himself (no, that's not why I liked it), it was just his arm, the CB, the road, and the (right?) rear-view mirror. Don't remember much more, but it was a really cool picture.

How's your posh tractor doing? Fixed it? Or did it just run out of gas. :-P

Amy K said...

Through tears....Kim, the raw emotion in this post brings me to my knees. Thanks for sharing these photos.

Many cyber-hugs to get you through today.

Kim said...

To the classless moron who thought I was classless to wear a sundress to my mans funeral. Well lemme tell ya something, he and I BOTH wore the outfits we were SUPPOSED to renew our vows in this year. The stripper shoes were my Xmas gift from him. He LOVED that shit. That is what I chose for us to wear, that is what he would have wanted. And I'll tell ya something else you classless fuck...
One, In true Vinny style while I was alone with him he managed to pop the strap on my dress and two if I 100% knew for sure there were no cameras I would have fucking flashed him too.
Fuck you.

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs your way today Kim.

tricia said...

Oh Kim...i hurt for all of you. I'm glad you are pushing yourself for the kids sake. Lean on each other.

Gina said...

You looked beautiful, anyone who says otherwise is just jealous that they don't have anyone willing to dress up so sexy for them! I hope today doesn't tear you down. Sending good vibes your way...

Margie said...

Kim you are always in my thoughts & prayers.

Deneen Gethouas said...

Kim, thinking of you with love. The first year is brutal!!!! The second year is less brutal but, I am here to tell you that the pain does ease but the heartache never goes away. Never lost my husband/best friend but I lost my only child Tiffanie 9 years ago and the other day I walked through grocery store and went down the pop tart aisle and lost my mind. Hang in there girl.. I have been following Kody for 10 years and you have one tough family. Lean on each other to help ease the pain. Cyper Hugs and Love

Anonymous said...

Prayers from Tampa...and someone really commented on what you wore?
I've been to lots and lots of funerals and I thought everyone was buried in (and wore to the funeral) the stiffest, most formal black outfits. I thought that was how it was done...then...then...I read a letter in Dear Abbey where a woman said her Mother had the most beautiful night gowns. Everyone remembers seeing 'Grandma' in those lovely gowns so it was only natural for the family to bury her in one of her most beautiful gowns. I had to think about that one for a bit then it sounded right to me: Heck, if you can't be buried in something you liked when you were alive AND if people can't dress as you liked to see them...
Your outfit was what Karl liked to see you in. You wore it for him. I wouldn't even be mentioning it now, because it is none of anyone's business, but you need to know this was YOUR decision...and it was a GOOD one!
I'm sure Saturday was very hard!

Anonymous said...

Kim,

I read your post and it tore at my heart, your pain, the pics...all of it. But then, I read your comment here from the 22nd, and all I can say is "You go Girl!" Keep that punch that your Vinny loved! :) Hugs

Jennifer P
Washington state

Jenner said...

I'm sorry someone was so rude to comment about what you wore. Many of us wore NASCAR tshirts, jackets, hats and jeans to my cousin's funeral, because that was what he liked. And to top it off...his last ride was not in a hearse, but in the back of his Dad's pick-up truck. The casket was longer than the truck bed so we had to leave the tailgate down and strap him in. I know we turned alot of heads that day, but it sure gave us all a smile and I know my cousin loved every minute of it!
Love, Hugs & Prayers,
Jen from WI

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