Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Future...

Is not looking so bleak anymore.
The future is ours to make something great out of it.
The future belongs to us, right now.
The future is not a given right nor is it a promise.

The boys and I have decided that today and in our future we can either fall apart, fall down, wither away and die or...

We can face each day starting with a positive attitude.
We can be kind.
We can show more patience.
We can still cry.
We will always remember.
We will not let ourselves fall into a deep, hopeless depression for what we have lost.
We can slowly {this is a work in progress} let go of the anger.
We can forgive who have wronged us in our lives.
We can apologize for any hurt we have ever caused.
We can live each day to it's fullest.
We can live each day like it is our last.
We can look forward to reuniting with the one we love the most.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
The future is never a promise.

We can build a new normal and we can for the first time in over two months, laugh and not feel one bit of guilt.

It is absolutely what Vinny would want us to do. And, we will never let that beautiful man, our Angel down...not ever.

We know he is still around, and at the risk of being labeled "crazy", we now this for a fact, because yesterday a little birdie, actually two lil' birdies told us so.



Do you believe in "After Death Communication"?

I never did before, but I sure do now. :0)

Have a beautiful day everyone.




Anonymous said...

Wow. That is the most beautiful post...ever! You are an amazing family. Every one of you is an inspiration. Many, many people with much lesser to be upset about are far more angry than you. You are can still cry, you can still be angry, but it's starting to become not all encompasing. That is HUGE progress. You are really an amazing role model. Thank you so much for sharing such raw emotions and truly are inspirational!
Liz, NY

Anonymous said...

I have lost several people very very close to me I do more than ever believe that they stay close to me in very surprising ways - keep the faith for you and your family.

Christie said...

As hard as it may be, try to keep your chin up my friend! And be sure to keep taking pictures =D The birds are beautiful .. {hugs}

JustJn said...

Yes, i do believe in afterlife communication :)
I am so happy to see/hear a positive post from you. I think of y'all daily and wish nothing but the best for the entire K clan.
hugs and luv from Az.

kendall said...

Your post made me so happy Kim! I love that you and the boys realize you can look and move forward without disrespecting or sacrificing Vinnie.

I was driving over to Orlando for a conference earlier today and was playing my **YOU MUST PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH AT ME** BeeGees greatest hits CD (Yes, I admit, I'm a BeeGees fan.)

Anywho- listening to my BeeGees and heard a song that I was compelled to play over and over and over again. I don't know why but it made me think of you and Karl and I feel like I have to share it with you.

I know it's more of a breakup song but the general message of missing someone you love really struck me as your story.

Hope you like it.

Anonymous said...

That is an awesome post. I know it will be harder some days than others but know I continue to lift you up in prayer. God is near!!!

Shiela in NY said...

You, my dear, have brought tears to my eyes. You hit the nail on the head. And you are SOOOO right...this is what Karl would want!! Loved your update ... keeping your chins up ... one day at a time. Luv & Hugs...

Dot O said...

I so believe in it... Pay attention to those "dreams" too.

Praying for you always.

Anonymous said...

What an amazing outlook, and you are so right. Vinny would want you to be happy and laugh. May you keep getting signs from him that let you know all is ok.


murphy said...

So glad to hear you are doing better. What a wonderful post!! You are right, it is ok to laugh, laughter helps you heal. And you should not feel guilty for laughing. You are just going through the process of grieving. I love reading your blog, and looking at your wonderful pictures! I do believe in communication after death. Love seeing the birds! Take care, and know, that you are such a wonderful and caring person!

murphy said...

Wonderful post Kim!!! You are such an inspiring woman! I loved the pictures of the birds, awesome!! I believe in communication after someone passes. It is ok to still cry and it is ok to laught too. It is all part of the process of grieving. You are such a kind and caring person, and should be so proud of who you are! Your children are so lucky to have you as their mother! I just love your blog!

PJ said...

Wow....amazing post fromt he K gang. Huge step forward to the rest of your life and how to honor Karl.

Bless you and your family....I am always checking in on you...

Anonymous said...

Well, i agree with what you posted but I really think you should call him Karl and not Vinnie. I know that was as little game you two had but I think it takes away from who Karl is.
Just saying....peace.

annieb said...

AMEN sister...still praying for you in GA...embrace the unknown and know that Vinny will be with you along your journey...((((hugs))))

Anonymous said...

Ya! So glad to read some positive coming from you! The road will definately be rocky still, but you must hold your head know your Vinny would!

Olympia, WA
Kody follower

Jenner said...

Awesome post Kim! And yes, I believe in afterlife communication. :o)
Love, Hugs & Prayers,
Jen from WI

Barb in Canada said...

I sure do believe in after communication, My Mom got cancer when I was young so we had (thankfully) years to talk about things, I told her many times when she would have to leave me to please send me a sign that she was okay, 16 years later she died on Mothers Day. My Mom could not keep a plant alive no matter what she did, after she died I took an African Violet from her home that was dried up, and near dead, a month to the day after she died that plant bloomed like nothing I had ever seen before, it was a joke between Mom and I that she had a brown thumb, I know this was her way of letting me know she was okay :) Flash forward a few years my daughter was around 7, (4 when Mom died) so she really didn't have memories of Mom, one day out of no where she says to me, Mommy does Grandma visit you while you are sleeping? I asked her to explain further and she was adament that Grandma was standing in her bedroom door the night before smiling as her, she even described what she was wearing ( things Mom wore when she was alive that Jess would never have remembered) I asked my daughter is it scared her and she said No Mommy Grandma just smiled and there was a light around her. Then she was gone and I went back to sleep I don't believe this was a dream as I said my daughter was way too young to remember details about Mom and was not a child that made things up. This brings me great comfort that our loved ones are around us.

I hope you are feeling a bit better everyday, I didn't read your blog until after this horrible time in your life, so I know little about you and your Vinny but even myself being a stranger can see how much you two loved each other and its beautiful, someday when you are ready I would love to hear more of your love story, how you met etc keep going you will get there

leese said...

AWESOME!!! And you're not crazy. Vinnie will send all the signs he can until he gets through. Sounds like he has already. I'm so, so happy you and the boys feel it.

Anonymous said...

Such an amazing post and what an amazing family, Karl wouldn't want it any other way. Sure there will still be rough times but you all are starting to heal - like I said what an amazing family.

I DO believe in after death communication.....I lost my dad 2 years ago yesterday and so wish there was a way to communicate with him - he sends me rainbows but I would love more....

Big hugs from Missouri,

Anonymous said...

So, so happy to read this!

You are AWESOME.

Thinking of you and your kids. :)


Kim said...

To all...
I would LOVE to hear of any ADC's anyone has had, please leave them for us to read.
"Hello From Heaven"..great book, if you believe it' a great read. If you don't believe, it may just change your mind.

"Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, i agree with what you posted but I really think you should call him Karl and not Vinnie. I know that was as little game you two had but I think it takes away from who Karl is.
Just saying....peace."

Your right, I really should. I guess I just got so used to it, that it just comes natural.
Thanks for the reminder. :0)


Anonymous said...

I don't remember how I found your blog, but I have been checking in on you for a while, but just didn't really know what to leave as comment. I have been praying for you Kim and your children, and cannot imagine what you have been going through. I am happy to read your latest post, I really do think positive thinking can lift up your spirits! Those little signs must really bring you so much happiness and a sense of peace. Keep up your upbeat outlook and I'm sure it will only help you over the long term. Take care!

Shiela in NY said...

I loved Barb in Canada's story about the violet plant - NEAT!!

Kim, I'm glad you were okay with the "Vinnie vs. Karl" comment that someone posted. I actually felt bad for you when I read it b/c I feel this is YOUR blog and you will/can write what you want. I don't tend to refer to Karl as "Vinnie" very often because I felt that was "your" name for him but I personally don't think anything 'wrong' with you writing about Karl as Vinnie. (Except for the newbies to your Blog that might get onfused - haha!) :)

Hope you're doing well. Sending love and hugs, as always!

Linnae said...

Hi Kim,

I liked your post and your honesty. I think of you often and admire your courage. I just found this website today off of and immediately thought of you. It may be a helpful resource for your journey! Blessings to you and your kiddos.

Sea52Jay said...

I know there are going to be days when this is really going to be hard but I got tears just reading your post. Moving ahead is the best for all of you and you are doing that, moving ahead, not moving on and that makes all the difference. <3

Cathy Bowman said...

Hey guys! Kim- WOuld love it if you would post a new picture of Kody with his new hair cut. I also am a blonde and dye my hair. It's a pain when those roots start growing back in. You are a most beautful lady. I loved the picture of you in the park (i think that's where it was taken). You are so little and I LOVED your converse! I would like a pair but wear a size 8 1/2 and converse would make my feet look like boats! LOL. I will stick to my skechers :) You guys are all so awesome. I can't say that enough. You guys are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Would love to see pics of Kolin and Kaysha as well! Be good~

Shannon Carlson said...

Thinking of you always. You are such an inspiration to everyone around you. You touch so many lives. Thoughts are prayers are forever with you. Keep the faith and keep the strength.

Anonymous said...

Oh Kim, I agree with everyone. That was such a wonderful post.

I have a few memories to share. I lost my dad first, at the age of 5. And when I was 9, my Mom remarried, and my step father was from hell. Anyway, after a very rough day, I woke up about 3:00 in the morning...and saw my dad standing at the bed, dressed in jeans and I smelled fish so strong. He loved to fish. He told me everything was going to be OK.
The next day my Mom was cleaning like crazy...said she couldn't get rid of a "fish" smell in the house and she had no idea where it came from! And, about five months after my first daughter was born...I woke in the night...and swear I saw him standing at her crib.

And, two years ago I lost my Mom. Now, I get followed by butterflies. It really is strange, and they are always little yellow butterflies. Living in Upsate Ny, it gets cold and insects disappear about Sept. Well, my little yellow butterfly hung around until mid October this year.

They do watch over us...I can feel them.

Lots of hugs,
Debbie, Mom of Shannon

Kim said...

Get a copy of "Hello From Haven", I have no doubt at all you saw your Dad.
I wish everyday Karl would come back to me in that way, not yet though.
He did come to a friend of mine and told her something only he, I and our kids knew, more on that another time. :)

Trying to let go of some anger. :)

Kim said...

I meant to type "Hello from Heaven".
Duh me lol

Anonymous said...

Kim, I will definately look up that book.

After loosing my parents, and dealing with Shannons cancer diagnosis years ago, all the kids "we" lost...I think letting go of anger has been one of my biggest issues.

Baby steps is right...and sometimes you will go backwards a bit. But thats Ok, we are all here for you and each other, during those times

Debbie, mom of Shannon, now 20.

Kendall said...

You don't have to let go of anger on YOUR blog, Kim.

And you can call your man whatever you want to call him.

I wish my keyboard had a middle finger.

Just sayin'


Shiela in NY said...

(((LOVE))) YOU! You can never do anything wrong!! :D

(And talk about typos ... I wrote "onfused" instead of "confused". Talk about confusing - lol!

Hoping to pick up the phone on Monday and call you. You gonna be home or should I try the cell?

Anonymous said...

Kim, Glad you're finding a bit of happiness and choosing to let go of anger etc... Beautiful post!

I think I wrote to you about my little messages from my Dad, before. But I will post again for others to read.

My dad died about 12 years ago from cancer at the age of 52, boy, do I miss him with all my heart! I asked him to give me a sign that he was OK, it wasn't long after that, that I found my first message from him, in the form of a dime. (He was a coin collector) Now, I would find these dimes in the most odd places, like in the cuff of my capri jeans, in the mail box, under the carpet when we pulled it up to replace, when I step out of my car, my dad and I share the love of "collecting" when I was cleaning out my fabric closet, I was refolding and stacking swatches of fabric and out dropped a dime, and in the grass of our yard I saw something sparkling in the sun and it was a dime... I just love to find them, it brings a smile to my face everytime I spot one. *I've often told him that I can't get rich off of dimes, so please start sending paper money...* (Ha! only joking) I treasure everyone of them and hope he never stops sending me the little signs.
Brandi N.


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