2 Years

This doesn't get much easier, two years today....two years this morning was the very last time I would ever see him again...alive, funny, laughing, threatening to cut off his long hair, making a chicken sandwich for his lunch, not wanting to go to work that day, wanting to stay with his family, loving the idea of coming home to a meatloaf dinner, telling us all how much he loved us.

The very last thing he and I said to each other was "I love you".
I still love him, I love him so much....I can't even describe how much, there are no words.

I can't stop crying, and shaking and wanting to be with him so bad.

To the world I seem fine, I'm not sure I am though.

At the time of the crash, all our kids and granddaughters will be at the Olive Garden, his favorite restaurant sharing memories, laughing and saluting the most loved man who ever walked this great big Earth. I'm saving a seat for him, and I really hope he joins us. He better because I made the reservations under the name "Vinny Provolone".

It was 11:30 we got the knock at the door.
I guess the good thing is now I have a doorbell in a new house, so I'll never have to look at that door again and remember.

I want to remember him, his love and happy times forever.
I want him back so bad, and there isn't one damn thing I can do to fix that.

Jeez...I am a mess today. :(