Saturday, December 22, 2012

2 Years

This doesn't get much easier, two years today....two years this morning was the very last time I would ever see him again...alive, funny, laughing, threatening to cut off his long hair, making a chicken sandwich for his lunch, not wanting to go to work that day, wanting to stay with his family, loving the idea of coming home to a meatloaf dinner, telling us all how much he loved us.

The very last thing he and I said to each other was "I love you".
I still love him, I love him so much....I can't even describe how much, there are no words.

I can't stop crying, and shaking and wanting to be with him so bad.

To the world I seem fine, I'm not sure I am though.

At the time of the crash, all our kids and granddaughters will be at the Olive Garden, his favorite restaurant sharing memories, laughing and saluting the most loved man who ever walked this great big Earth. I'm saving a seat for him, and I really hope he joins us. He better because I made the reservations under the name "Vinny Provolone".

It was 11:30 we got the knock at the door.
I guess the good thing is now I have a doorbell in a new house, so I'll never have to look at that door again and remember.

I want to remember him, his love and happy times forever.
I want him back so bad, and there isn't one damn thing I can do to fix that.

Jeez...I am a mess today. :(



Anonymous said...

I have no idea how it feels to lose your life partner and the love of your life... but through reading your words, my heart aches for you so I know that is only a tiny tiny portion of how awful that ache is for you. I hope you were able to find some comfort in your many memories of the loving years you shared together, and I hope you felt him near you today!

Susie Matthews said...

Prayers to you & your family ((hugs))

Susie Matthews said...

Prayers to you & your family ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

My heart hurts for you. I can feel your pain in your words. There are no words to make you hurt less and I am so sorry. I hope Vinny was there with you and your precious family at dinner. I really have no doubt he was and IS with you each day. Much love to you. Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...


I thought of you and Karl on this day but couldn't get online to let you know. I hope you felt him at the Olive Garden that day.

Debby from Ohio


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