Some days, for no reason at all it is dark, sad and very lonely.
Some days I just get by.
Some days I laugh, I don't know why...maybe because I don't want frown lines? LOL...yea its vain I know.
So many people tell me how strong I am.
Don't let the outside fool you...inside I am still broken, dying and missing a man I would have gladly given my own life for.
Some days I wish it was me instead. Looking at the broken souls of my children is torture, it really is.
12 more days of school and summer vacation is here. This will be our summer to try and heal a little, spending time together.
This fall though when they go back, this Momma plans on getting back to school too. I'm just not positive what to do, wow...I never had a back up plan, who knew?
Anyway, I'll be back, I gotta run Kolin to school. :)
TTYL!!!!
6 comments:
Thinking of you. I think you would do great at photography classes/business administration. Then you could open your own studio and take beautiful pictures. You have a real talent at taking pictures.
Rachel
ND
Hang in there...I"ve been reading about you and your family for years. Praying, crying, laughing. . .
You are SUCH a strong woman and your kids are strong too. You all will somehow get through this horrific nightmare and when you do - you will be amazed to find there is light at the end of that tunnel of darkness.
Best regards,
Karen in Dallas
Kim, I don't think 5 months is really all that long. You loved Karl much, much longer than 5 months!! Take it easy on yourself ... don't put expectations on how you should be doing by when. I'm sure he heard several times in meetings where people say, "You can't expect the desire to drink to disappear after a week or so when you drank for years." Same principle here.
Enjoy the summer with your K boys!
HUGS HUGS HUGS
Love you, CJ
Kim, I really don't think you should be healed or "back to normal" after just five months. When you've spent about 30 years with someone there is no way you can have them suddenly ripped away from you and expect 'normalcy' in a short amount of time. Everyone heals at different speeds and in different ways. I think your up and down days are quite normal. I just wish it wasn't so for you, no matter what length of time it takes. You and the boys deserve a summer of healing and reflection and I know you'll do great with school this fall. Thinking of you always...
See? Linnae and I were thinking alike! Her comment was not visible when I posted but we both felt the same way!! :) I agree with Rachel ... a photography studio is right up your alley!! :)
(((HUGS)))
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