Those are the days/nights I crave being alone, in my thoughts and memories.
So often I feel extreme guilt about loving another man and sadly I take it out on that other man an awful lot.
He drives a truck, so our time together isn't quite normal...10 to 34 hours here and there depending on his schedule is the best we get, but it's good...it's good because it allows me that time I still need.
There are some days when my world is so crazy, 24 hours in a day just isn't enough time to get everything done, those are the days I wish he had a normal day or night job...but, truck driving is in his blood, he's been driving for over 10 years and he comes from a long line of truck drivers.
It's what Michael loves, and I would never let the selfish side of me take over and demand he stops. No...never, in fact one day I hope to start going on some small trips with him.
One day...when my life is free of the drama that often comes with lots of kids, teenagers and grieving.
I love that he's patient, hard working, funny, gentle, kind to everyone, honest and true.
He see's the good side of everyone and everything...he see's the best and the worst of me and he tells me he loves it, everything about me...even when I don't.
He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and yeah...sometimes he makes me want to stomp off and scream. I guess that's normal, right?
What's probably not normal is looking at him across from the dinner table, or sitting on the couch watching TV and picturing Karl there instead. God, I have GOT to STOP doing this.
Is there anybody out there that can tell me this is normal or after 2 1/2 years I'm still qualifying myself to be a nutcase?
Anyway...being alone and numb at night, leads me into my own little comfort word of creating knitted stuff, crocheted stuff and cute shabby chic rag-tie banners that I love to use with backdrops.
Here's a few things from recently...
Wishing you all the best day ever and a Happy Belated Dad's Day to all...including the single Mom's who take on both worlds. :)