Looking Through The Glass {the blog}

Live For the Moments you Can't Put Into Words.... Things are changing so fast here...in another month the boys will be out of school, and when they go back my last two are finally both in high school. Funny how times flies...I remember like it was yesterday taking them to elementary school, it really doesn't feel like that long ago..oh, but it was. In two and a half months Karyelle will be giving birth to her very first baby, Madison. I'm not sure who's more excited, me or her. :) Tomorrow she is coming over for a day of hanging in the pool and baby shower planning. This is the last year I'll be spending in this house and before summer is over the boys and I will be putting up roots else where and trying our best to start over. Last year I was doing some serious planning on leaving, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the memories. I needed that extra year whether I realized it then or not. This year I found out that the memories we keep stay in our hearts forever, so no matter where I choose to go...My Vinny {Karl} will be with me always. There are days like yesterday and the day before that where the signs, or as I like to call them, "gifts" keep coming over and over all day, it's amazing. Adriana will be five this summer and starting kindergarten in August...WOW..that child was just a baby, like last year wasn't she?? Kayara is finally graduating college in three weeks. Years of baby raising and working and maintaining a 3.7 gpa has been keeping her beyond busy. But, I'm proud of her and her dedication to make a better life for her and her daughters...she did it. :) Kaysha...well, lol..Kaysha is Kaysha. Just turned 21, young...wild and free, that's what I call her. Miss Independent, Miss Popular, Miss Club party girl. Whew...that girl can dance the night away and still wake up in the morning for work. I told her several times...enjoy it now cuz it's not always going to be like that. I hope she listens lol. Kyle will be coming home in November, that's going to be interesting. He's my son, and I love him unconditionally, of course. The problem is...by the time he comes back, he will have been institutionalized for five years. That's five years of completely missing out on what happens in the outside world. Small things like, touch screen phones baffle him. He once told me, "Mom...all my life you yelled at me for touching things and now your telling me I got to touch something to make it work??" The reality of coming home to a new home. The hurt and new kind of grief I know he is going to feel when he see's his Dad's urn for the first time. God, I hope I am strong enough to deal with all of this. :( Lately I've been thinking about getting away for a week, problem is I have so many ideas but finding the courage to go about them alone is the problem. I still can't grasp the fact that I have to do things alone. Other then this, life still steadily rolls on for us whether we want it to or not. We hope everyone out there reading this has a beautiful weekend. We think of you all, always. I know I've been slow to get on here lately, I'm still a work in progress, believe it or not. Take care everyone...TTYL!!!!